Big Sky
When my sons Josh and Zach were very young in the middle 70's my ex-husband and I owned a condo on Snow Mass mountain in Colorado. It was so long ago that it was the only condo on the mountain and chic wasn't a word you would ever use to describe to the area. I loved the summers there. The days were filled with fantastic trails to hike - the Maroon Bells were one of my faves: horses to ride a new experience for a Jewish girl like me andthe sky. It was also my first introduction to the expanse of big sky. The kind of sky that feels very close,goes on for days and envelopes you in it's blueness or grayness or its clouds. The stars in the evening sky were sparkling diamond drops. It was a sky that gave you permission to do a big exhale and encouraged you to breathe. My city girl self just melted in that atmosphere. And I was home.
Santa Fe New Mexico was another Big Sky place. How magical it was to discover Geogia O'Keefe territory for myself. The proximity of the land and sky was one of nature's most brilliant creations: successive moments of beauty, wholeness and peace. I didn't even know how much I craved a big sky.
Fortuitously, this summer through a friend of a friend I have had the use of a lovely home in a place of big sky. My city girl persona has been so intact for so long working and making life in Manhattan that I didn't notice the sky at first. But gradually as I took walks on the beach or swam in the pool or popped cherry tomatoes that exploded sweetness in my mouth I noticed the sky, that gorgeous big sky. And I remembered. And I took a big exhale and I was home again.
Forward please...
Recently I received an email from my friend Marilyn celebrating Girlfriend and Sisters Week with the command to pass it to my "people." This commemoration is new to me and I've lately been in the habit of deleting these missives. But there was something in the sentiment that moved my increasingly skeptical self. And I also appreciated that it came from Marilyn a college friend with whom I've reconnected after 27 years. Not new ideas but always worthwhile reminders; Life is too short to wake up with regrets. To love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Kiss slowly and most important forgive quickly.
To be honest loving people who don't treat me right isn't my style. But forgiveness is a big one for me now. Maybe it's the sage aspect of age. I have seen too many lost years in relationships from holding onto old hurts that are no longer relevant. Close members of my family didn't speak for 13 years over not responding to a phone call. What a waste.
Forgiveness or letting go is much easier when you don't have an investment in being right. At a time there is hardship due to war, the economy and the environment, places where we have no control. But by our thoughts and actions and shopping and lunching with our girlfriends life can be great!
This year, Father's Day has a particularly special meaning for me. Both of my sons are to become fathers of sons. One boy will arrive in August, the other in September. And hopefully these new Isenberg boys will themselves become fathers in the future. Unfortunately fathers especially participating fathers are in short supply these days. Too many families are the responsibly of single mothers. A father is a very important person in a child's life. My own father Moey, Moses Leonard Schor, was a character. A dominant figure in my life, I spent years thinking about him, talking about him, writing about him and understanding his influence on me. Moe was darkly attractive, highly opinionated, had a good mind, an adventurous spirit, and in love with the written word. He was also highly explosive, not a great provider a closet misogynist and clueless about the importance of praise. Experts, for years have been saying that especially for girls, emotionally supportive Dads are terrific builders of self-esteem. We all need that positive feedback to nurture those fragile places in ourselves. Moey's strong suit was being physically demonstrative (wet kisses on my cheek) his quest to sample new cuisines and encouraging my deep love of reading. I adored him as a child, he was my hero, but he took a steep fall from grace when I saw him more clearly in my late 20's. I have a treasure trove of hand made Father's Day cards from my years in elementary school. "To Daddy" they said, and I signed his pet name for me "The Pussy Cat Princess" - I won't even go near that one... Moe is gone about 25 years and in his final months I lovingly cared for him in my home. He was still "my daddy." My sons have a wonderful opportunity to be role models of caring, compassion, integrity, patience, playfulness, curiosity, emotional availability and a reverence for women. I know it's a tall order, but Father's Day won't just be a day to buy a card and have a brunch, but a way to recognize the sterling man in the life of a child.
I recently reconnected with my friend Elaine through Facebook. We haven’t been in touch for about 20 years. It was a very Facebook experience. And went like this:
Judie, an LA friend, and I were Facebook pals. I didn’t even know that Elaine and Judie knew each other. But when Elaine saw me on Judie’s Facebook she contacted me - via Facebook of course. In a few Facebook exchanges we caught up on at least 15 years worth. FYI, I get royalties whenever I mention Facebook (just kidding).
Elaine, another former Angelino, now lives in New York. So when Judie came to New York, Elaine had a delicious ladies lunch at her downtown loft, which she cooked herself. I rarely Facebook. Weeks go by before I log in and I almost never write. But often over the past few months wonderful people out of my distant and not so distant past have reached out to me. I see that it’s a great way to stay in touch and communicate what’s going on in your life.
I admit that I’ve trashed Twitter as ridiculous. But, I see the valuable role it’s played in recent crisis, especially Haiti in getting information out. Do you know that Ashton Kutcher has a twitter following of 4 million 851 thousand 885 people? I don’t blame anyone for following Ashton. Demi knows more then anyone.
Events of the Heart is now ready to embrace social media big time. A social media maven recently told me the fastest growing group on Facebook are women in their 50’s. Not surprising, who communicates more then women?
It’s imperative that we reach more women with important information about Heart Health. EOH is all about prevention! 49 % of the country has heart disease and it’s 85% preventable. It should not be ruining our lives. Our goal is to have women become advocates for their own health, better still for their own lives. In my own personal social forays it always amazes that many women I would think are aware, are amazed when I tell them that heart disease is the # 1 heath threat for women. Case in point, the ladies at Elaine’s loft, were shocked that it was heart disease not breast cancer that won first place. So join us on Facebook and send your friends over to become fans. It’s a heart thing, We’re going viral!
